What should I focus on if my whole life is in chaos?
250 words/min = 5 min read
It is hard to escape a press release, broadcast, or conversation about the Coronvirus or its effect on our country, economy, and the world. People have come to know Coronavirus as another word, chaos. Sometimes we go through periods in life where we find ourselves in chaos.
Recently, I was working with a manager in a small business who was dealing with his wife leaving, financial problems, his grown children making poor decisions, and two long-time employees leaving the company in the same month. He felt like he was drowning. He was facing so many problems everywhere in his life; he felt like giving up. He just couldn’t seem to get ahead, which over time, caused him to gain weight, start smoking again and allowed depression to creep into his outlook on life.
When we find ourselves in chaos, how do we choose the focus of our energy and efforts? We need to know and have hope that we can dig our way out of the chaos and make it back to normal life. What’s a gameplan we can follow that can help us as we find our way back?
Stop trying to solve every problem at once.
For years I have been battling tennis elbow in both of my arms. There have been times the pain was so severe I couldn’t lift a glass of water. I tried everything, arm braces, elbow braces, tins machines, ice, acupuncture, and ibuprofen. I even worked with my daughter on a science fair project to invent a creatine cream that I could apply to my arms when they hurt! I finally went to an orthopedic doctor who refused to give me a cortisone shot until I tried physical therapy. He said, “You have too much going on, and the shots won’t help. You have golfers elbow, tennis elbow, and triceps tendinitis in both arms.” Talk about chaos! My elbows were a hot mess.
One of the reasons we feel so overwhelmed is we are trying to solve all of our problems at the same time. Give yourself permission to leave some issues on the table for a time. When we are in chaos, we need that permission because it helps us block out all the static and noise coming from the urgency we feel around our problems. The burden and weight of all of our problems cause anxiety that can keep us from thinking clearly. Also, we have to accept the idea that we may not be the best ones to solve our problems. Is our pride keeping us in chaos? It might be time to get a second opinion about how to prioritize our solutions.
Seek out people who are trustworthy and offer wise counsel.
It’s essential to find people who care about you but have no vested interest in how you work through your chaos. When I spoke to my golfing buddies, they begged me to get a steroid shot to make the pain go away temporarily so I could play golf with them. While they meant well, they had a vested interest in me moving towards the fastest solution (for my company on the course, not my score)! My physical therapist took a different approach and prescribed treatment that would slowly heal my elbows.
The physical therapist offered wise and unbiased counsel, and the same is true in the conversation I had with the manager. When I sat down with the manager and listened to his story, I could clearly see his biggest priorities, focus areas, and what he needed to save for later. His kids were calling and needing help, the bank was calling and expecting payment, and his employees were not happy. There was too much emotion and static in his life to be able to create movement on his own. He gave himself permission to focus and found a coach or mentor but found out that it was not enough. Two principles we have discussed to this point need one more piece to help a person prioritize in the midst of chaos.
Give the person’s perspective authority in your life.
For years I wanted to solve the problems with my elbows. I watched youtube videos, read blogs, talked to trainers and on and on and on. No matter what I tried, it never worked. Had I started with an attitude of humility, I may have gone to the doctor sooner and not been so disappointed when he sent me to physical therapy. We have to allow those who we seek for wise counsel to hold authority in our life. The problem is we may not agree or find their advice challenging to accept. However, we must trust that someone who cares about us may see something we don’t. It takes humility to give someone else the right to speak into your chaos and help you identify the area you need to focus on improving.
When I arrived and started working out with my physical therapist, I noticed they did something different. The first day was mostly asking questions and testing the strength of various muscles. They discovered a muscle in my right shoulder blade that was not functioning correctly. Surprisingly the area that needed the greatest attention was not the most obvious. When we open ourselves up to a different perspective from someone wise, we learn something about ourselves and our situation that is new and helpful. What I learned was that if I corrected my shoulder, it would help fix all three problems in my elbow at once!
It was not an easy pill to swallow when we discovered the most critical priorities and focus that the manager in crisis needed to implement. He had a HUGE heart for others and had made some decisions that were not only causing him pain but also hurting those around him. Eventually, he learned that he was enabling others to create chaos in his life and their lives. Instead, he changed his mindset and began investing in his life and their lives.
Give in to the process of focus, intensity, and time.
If I am honest, all my elbow solutions were geared towards a quick fix. I needed it to be better, so it didn’t slow me down. My physical therapist got my attention and helped reframe the problem. I am in my 40’s, and if I want this problem to go away, I have to choose to focus on rebuilding my shoulders for the rest of my life. No quick fixes for me! For weeks they held me accountable for my effort and commitment to the process. “The Process” is focusing on something you want to change, putting intensity and energy towards it, and being committed to focusing on it over time. I graduated last Friday! Now I have the tools and the perspective I need to stay in the process.
The manager is also in the process. In just a few months, he has money saved in the bank, repaired his relationships with his kids, and hired employees that were better than the ones that left. He has lost more than 20 lbs by eating healthy and has (almost) quit smoking. The chaos in his life is in retreat, and he feels like he is in more control. He has faith in the process and was willing to open up and ask for help.
Is there anything in your life you need help with but refuse to ask?
What is it in your life that you need to put in “The Process?”
~ Dallas
What should I focus on if my whole life is in chaos?
250 words/min = 5 min read
It is hard to escape a press release, broadcast, or conversation about the Coronvirus or its effect on our country, economy, and the world. People have come to know Coronavirus as another word, chaos. Sometimes we go through periods in life where we find ourselves in chaos.
Recently, I was working with a manager in a small business who was dealing with his wife leaving, financial problems, his grown children making poor decisions, and two long-time employees leaving the company in the same month. He felt like he was drowning. He was facing so many problems everywhere in his life; he felt like giving up. He just couldn’t seem to get ahead, which over time, caused him to gain weight, start smoking again and allowed depression to creep into his outlook on life.
When we find ourselves in chaos, how do we choose the focus of our energy and efforts? We need to know and have hope that we can dig our way out of the chaos and make it back to normal life. What’s a gameplan we can follow that can help us as we find our way back?
Stop trying to solve every problem at once.
For years I have been battling tennis elbow in both of my arms. There have been times the pain was so severe I couldn’t lift a glass of water. I tried everything, arm braces, elbow braces, tins machines, ice, acupuncture, and ibuprofen. I even worked with my daughter on a science fair project to invent a creatine cream that I could apply to my arms when they hurt! I finally went to an orthopedic doctor who refused to give me a cortisone shot until I tried physical therapy. He said, “You have too much going on, and the shots won’t help. You have golfers elbow, tennis elbow, and triceps tendinitis in both arms.” Talk about chaos! My elbows were a hot mess.
One of the reasons we feel so overwhelmed is we are trying to solve all of our problems at the same time. Give yourself permission to leave some issues on the table for a time. When we are in chaos, we need that permission because it helps us block out all the static and noise coming from the urgency we feel around our problems. The burden and weight of all of our problems cause anxiety that can keep us from thinking clearly. Also, we have to accept the idea that we may not be the best ones to solve our problems. Is our pride keeping us in chaos? It might be time to get a second opinion about how to prioritize our solutions.
Seek out people who are trustworthy and offer wise counsel.
It’s essential to find people who care about you but have no vested interest in how you work through your chaos. When I spoke to my golfing buddies, they begged me to get a steroid shot to make the pain go away temporarily so I could play golf with them. While they meant well, they had a vested interest in me moving towards the fastest solution (for my company on the course, not my score)! My physical therapist took a different approach and prescribed treatment that would slowly heal my elbows.
The physical therapist offered wise and unbiased counsel, and the same is true in the conversation I had with the manager. When I sat down with the manager and listened to his story, I could clearly see his biggest priorities, focus areas, and what he needed to save for later. His kids were calling and needing help, the bank was calling and expecting payment, and his employees were not happy. There was too much emotion and static in his life to be able to create movement on his own. He gave himself permission to focus and found a coach or mentor but found out that it was not enough. Two principles we have discussed to this point need one more piece to help a person prioritize in the midst of chaos.
Give the person’s perspective authority in your life.
For years I wanted to solve the problems with my elbows. I watched youtube videos, read blogs, talked to trainers and on and on and on. No matter what I tried, it never worked. Had I started with an attitude of humility, I may have gone to the doctor sooner and not been so disappointed when he sent me to physical therapy. We have to allow those who we seek for wise counsel to hold authority in our life. The problem is we may not agree or find their advice challenging to accept. However, we must trust that someone who cares about us may see something we don’t. It takes humility to give someone else the right to speak into your chaos and help you identify the area you need to focus on improving.
When I arrived and started working out with my physical therapist, I noticed they did something different. The first day was mostly asking questions and testing the strength of various muscles. They discovered a muscle in my right shoulder blade that was not functioning correctly. Surprisingly the area that needed the greatest attention was not the most obvious. When we open ourselves up to a different perspective from someone wise, we learn something about ourselves and our situation that is new and helpful. What I learned was that if I corrected my shoulder, it would help fix all three problems in my elbow at once!
It was not an easy pill to swallow when we discovered the most critical priorities and focus that the manager in crisis needed to implement. He had a HUGE heart for others and had made some decisions that were not only causing him pain but also hurting those around him. Eventually, he learned that he was enabling others to create chaos in his life and their lives. Instead, he changed his mindset and began investing in his life and their lives.
Give in to the process of focus, intensity, and time.
If I am honest, all my elbow solutions were geared towards a quick fix. I needed it to be better, so it didn’t slow me down. My physical therapist got my attention and helped reframe the problem. I am in my 40’s, and if I want this problem to go away, I have to choose to focus on rebuilding my shoulders for the rest of my life. No quick fixes for me! For weeks they held me accountable for my effort and commitment to the process. “The Process” is focusing on something you want to change, putting intensity and energy towards it, and being committed to focusing on it over time. I graduated last Friday! Now I have the tools and the perspective I need to stay in the process.
The manager is also in the process. In just a few months, he has money saved in the bank, repaired his relationships with his kids, and hired employees that were better than the ones that left. He has lost more than 20 lbs by eating healthy and has (almost) quit smoking. The chaos in his life is in retreat, and he feels like he is in more control. He has faith in the process and was willing to open up and ask for help.
Is there anything in your life you need help with but refuse to ask?
What is it in your life that you need to put in “The Process?”
~ Dallas
